★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

sad day in a sunlight

Saturday, July 29, 2006
wtv ar

met up wif ken, my part-time boss, at khatib where we sat down on de florr at khatib's control station and him passing me all de datas (a little part-time job) which i need to key them in to the system. it was hot and i was perspiring. whooa! he suggested i bring back his laptop and do it there but i suggest not to in case he need to settle other reports which are in de laptop. plus, it's not his. it belongs to the company and if anything ever happened while it's with me, im responsible. bLuek.
came back, showered, made coffee and though wanna start on the data entries but NO! instead i got stuck on the couch. watching Into The West. the latest dvd dad bought. it's a series by TNT and Dreamworks. Produced by Steven Spielberg.

Mr Spielberg always bring in good shows. Haha!! Into The West is an epic series. It shows the pioneers of native Californians journeying into California. Watched only the 1st 2 episodes which lasted from 2030hrs to almost midnight. It was a good show. I can't wait to continue watching it. The leading guy, sho looks in-between like Smallville's err... damn! wt's his name? damn I forgot his name... let me go check it out for awhile........... Tom Welling! yes, that's his name. The leading guy of Into The West looks like Smallville's Tom Welling and All-American Rejects's frontman, i forgot wts his name but oh well, i too lazy to go check it out alreadi so wth! and yeah!

oKay and so yammie chopped off her hair to shoulder length and i aint gonna do the same to mine. im still have perming my hair in mind but i aint gonna do it now. im gonna do it when i think de time is right. blue!K

okay... bye. back to my data entries....

sad day in a sunlight

Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Drifting or Running? Choose 1

i want to go to headquarter but i don't want to leave the office. there's a shy shy cute guy there la.

[menyampah aku tgk kan. nak shy shy konon!]

ive drifted further. far away. it's like far away from home, from town, from you. yes. from you. i don't know but i feel that stating i'm far away from you feels good but somehow there is still you sticking on me and following me as i run off. oKay. i didnt drift off. i ran away. i am running. still. although i know there is no where i can run off to but i just keep on running.

3 months there. 3 weeks there. 2 weeks there and now here. how long will i stay? 3 months. maybe. i have to. i mean, i have to. i have to stay for 3 months. i hoPe i get to stay longer if the chance is given. i might want to ask for it but not now. maybe later. maybe when the time is right. maybe. maybe i might.

idiot la//

dont bug me. the more you bug me, the more restless i become. i know you're thinking why im talking to her easily and tell him my new workplace without thinking twice. well, you are making me restless. you start giving me words that makes me feel negative about myself. something is taking over you. that person was right. your sickness is taking over you and you are not trying to control and you just let it slip into you. over you. we are all trying our best. our patience are still there. we can still take it. come on! give all you got. ....but why are you giving out unneccesary remarks to your partner today? what have he done? i don't think he did anything wrong. i escaped to my room once he went off and you didnt say or ask anything to me. i felt relieved. Honestly.

sad day in a sunlight

Monday, July 24, 2006
bLuE

Destiny's Child sang Jumpin' Jumpin' and than Survivor and than Independent Woman. ....!?wait, which one comes 1st? Independent Woman or Survivor? Oh well. wth.
I've been jumping from one area to another. Somehow I felt it was useless but at the same time, it is kinda fun. I've never been in this situation before and it kinda excites me. I mean, do I hae myself to blame for it?

...."Can I blame you?" ....

I'm trying to take things slow for now. I don't want to rush. I'm tired. I'm getting old. Others sought into things too fast that they have no time to think about other things. I want to take break. Not like a proper break. I want to know how it feels like.

Yes. I wish I could do somethng which requires me to travel. Yes, being an air-stewardess is one of them but I'm not interested in that line. I wish I could like emigrate to another country and stay there. Or maybe stay there on a work permit or something. Flying back forth Singapore to that country.

What the hell. I am stupid. How can I problem messed me up so badly? And why solving it is impossible? Why did I ever forseen it? Why did I even went on with it.

I wasn't confident enough at the interview I went to just now. I was up for it but I felt I was letting the interviewer down. I wasn't feeling confident just now.
The jobscope is interesting. Being in that line sounds interesting. Well, it does sound interesting. Once started, would it be interesting anymore? It occurs to everything we hear about and never did it.

I feel my glasses is getting too big nowadays. Did I actually got the right size when I made it that tiMe?

Utada Hikaru sang, "Keep Tryin'".... so.... Keep Tryin'.....

sad day in a sunlight

Sunday, July 23, 2006
Random posts

I spent too much time on the pc more than on any other else. I think. Maybe yes maybe not.

I was watching XXXHolic [an anime]. It was an episode where Hanahana, a housewife is addicted to being on the internet and was told off by her husband that she has been neglecting him and their son. She wanted to stop and so she seek help from Yuko. Hanahana tried to stop using the internet after Yuko came to visit her and talked to her. Later on, Hanahana still went on the internet and start emailing her friends and posting up messages on forums to tell that she can't use the internet anymore. She got too engrossed in everything once messages starts coming in from her friends and she starts thinking about her downloads. Yuko came back and stopped her. She made a deal with Hanahana that she'll help to make her stop. In return, Hanahana have to give her her son's highchair. Hanahana agreed. So Yuko took her newly bought red metal bat and split the laptop into 2. She than said to Hanahana that the rest is up to her. Yuko went off with the highchair.
Later on, Hanahana's husband's back, watching tv and her son called out to her asking where is his highchair. Hanahana looked and feel weird and trembling.

See. She wanted to play with her son cuz she don't want her son to grow up being lonely without the loving from her. So, as to say, if she were to put him in the highchair, she will be able to let him stay there and not bother about him while she goes on the internet.

Get it.

sad day in a sunlight

Saturday, July 22, 2006
Andalucia

I want to be there. In Andalucia. Must be nice. Imagine Enrique Iglesias and Ricky Martin all there shaking their bon-bons. Ha ha!!! I love the song, Andalucia. Sang by the Johnny Jr boys. 1st featured in a theatre play by Koichi Domouto and Tsubasa Imai as leads. I think they played brothers or something. I wish I could see that play. It is in Japanese though. I bet they would even have space to put up subtitles for us who don't understand Japanese.

I am in love with Japan. Yes. Since before. Even before I knew you.

I have an interview to go later on and I am still not asleep. Why?

sad day in a sunlight

Friday, July 21, 2006
stewpeed

Went for a little outing just now and even for a little outing, it was terribly a hot damn day and I totally hated it and oh boy! It was so damn hot that no matter what I do, the sun just wouldnt go away and oh why am I so stupid to say all that and muahahahahaha!!! I am so the crazy already la.

Abang Aqhari, Happy 14th Birthday....

sad day in a sunlight

I had a dream and it goes like this.....

.....I was like in a desert island. I was suppose to be there for work? I don't know. I was thinking about him and my sister dearly. How I miss them. I was taking a walk out on de desert from the hut house that I was suppose to be in. I walked out and look around. There are mountains and there's a big ocean and I turned to my right and further away, I saw a guy, looking at me, walking towards his jeep or SUV. He looked familiar. It is him. abang ipar ar!
......Later I looked up as the sun seems to have been covered by clouds. I saw rocks. Big rocks. Floating on the air. Soon, it doesn't seem like floating anymore. It's more like it's falling. I saw one on top of me, falling off the air and was targetting at me. I ran! Avoiding the rock and one by one, the rocks fell to the ground. Causing a big impact on the ground that seem like the whole earth is shaking. I kept running away, avoiding the rocks from falling on me. The rocks were BIG and they fall hard to the ground!
.....I was running and running and find myself automatically running towards abang ipar. He was waitingfor me. I quickly ran and jumped into his SUV. Later, I heard someone calling for me. I saw Jennifer! (Like shit! I hate her and what was she doing in my dream!?) Anyway, she was calling out to me. She was just standing around and smoking while those rocks are falling and amazingly those doesn't hit her at all. In fact, I gave her a quick shout-out to her and got her into the SUV. Abang ipar drove off. Looking cool while I was in a panic state.
.....We got to a town. I really filled up town. Everything around me was just dark and dirty. It's like those year 3000 kinda happenings in movie, know what I mean. It's like everything on earth were taken over by some robots or evil warlords and turning the hole world into a dumpster.
.....Well, I walked around with abang ipar couldn't care less where Jennifer would be and gone. Everything was just so dark. In a glance, I found myself lying in the SUV. Together with abang ipar. He was there beside me. Trying to console me. Telling me everything is going to be okay. He was just there, lyring down beside me. Stroking my hair, his head leaning on my head and his face was near to my face and I swear I could feel his breath on me when he whispers. I was asking him if he has a handphone, so that I could call my sister and check on her. He said his girlfriend has it. Later, he was trying to kiss me. I could just feel it! I quickly sat up and look out of the SUV. Looking around at te busy people walking there and here, crowding against each other. He got up too and said his girlfriend is somewhere around there. I kept quiet.
......I had a handphone in my hand now. I called my sister and she answered. Said she is alright and she is dong fine. I was glad.
....Later, everyone around me was gone. I was back at the desert where I was at first. There, the sky was dark and there are bring lightings everywhere. A big trailer came in and brought in some kind of dragons. Armies came in and lighting fire and puting a big pot on it filled with porridge. Servings started to invisible people.

Every dreams tells you on what you thinking and how you are feeling. So what did mine say? I don't know. I ain't no dream expert but whatever it is, it is like cool la.

sad day in a sunlight

Thursday, July 20, 2006
bLueK

Where am I running to today?

My line's been suspended and I've yet to pay it. Well, I am going later. It's rather hot outside and I really don't feel like going out at all sey.

sad day in a sunlight

agonizing

You know, it is really funny that you would ask, why am I given or sent to a course by a company. Isn't it obvious? I mean, that is just a silly question to ask.

I need to get my line back. If I don't get my lines back, I'll be damn. Got my bill through starhub website, which is better! And am gonna pay them up tomorrow! I mean, later in the day. Those of you people who've been trying to contact me, I'm sorry for the delay cause...
Err... delay? Interference? I don't kNw aR!

So, where am I running to off next? Hmm....

sad day in a sunlight

Wednesday, July 19, 2006
keep tRyiN'

So... What am I doing today? Run off to another circus and make a fool of mysef or... hide under the merlion and let the tail make a pass at me so that I'd be thrown far far away to the underworld?

Hmmm.... that should do.

sad day in a sunlight

...be my laSt

What have I got myself into?... maN... i doNt kNw. it juz happeNed. wHeN iS it goNNa stop? I mean, is it ever gonna go away?
Is it ever gonna work? Is it ever gonna be out of my head? My mind?.... Out of my Life.

I can do this. I can do that. I can do whatever I want. I want to do it. HeLp me.

It hurts badLy... aNd it is stiLL hurtiNg.

coMe baCk.

sad day in a sunlight

Monday, July 17, 2006
blackcurrant & LeMoN

And so I failed my test. bLueK... try again, try harder, yammie toLd me. And yesh I will. I have another 2 months to read up de book again. Maybe before that I'll take the trial test before that or something ar.

I'm off to another job-hunt again. Yes. I Am....

sad day in a sunlight

Sunday, July 16, 2006
0238hrs

KKM (Kelab Kucing Malam) [= Night Cats Club] is on in the afternoon today. I wonder which lucky bastard is being brought down in this broad daylight.

I meant to go to sleep this morning at 4am but instead, the 2004 World Music Awards was on that I capture before I actually dozed off while Celine Dion was singing. She was singing a boring song ar. Woke up by my phone, incoming sms at 1240hrs. Meeting Nana for coffee later on.

I had my lunch! I had my coffee... No! Wait! I have not had my coffee!!! But... urgh! Im drinking coffee later!... no! that's a different coffee! I think I'll go ack to bed ar!

Something is totalli wrong with the mouse! Why the mouse!? I need cheese.... I need a new MouSe.

sad day in a sunlight

Saturday, July 15, 2006
Nothing to Do

suddenly, so many problems are occuring. are coming up. are appearing and they don't stop coming until someone do somehing about it.... But even if someone does something about it, it won't stop. It just keeps coming and we just have to go through it.

...fresh memories were created. fresh problems were being solved. new lives were beginned.

x1: i love you
x2: i know
x1: i have to breakup wif u
x2: why? wasnt i good enough?
x1: it's not u. it's me.
x2: what the fuck! [softLy]
x1: wat is tt?
x2: nothing.
x1: don't u nothing me. wt de hell is tt?
x2: i'm not telling you.
x1: why won't u tell me?
x2: because u are breaking up wif me!
x1: fiNe! i won't breakup with you!... now tell me!
x2: oKay... i love you
x1: i know
x2: are you sure?
x1: what!?
x2: nevermind! i had enough!
x1: fiNe! bye! THIS IS THE END!
x2: What The Fuck!
x1: so that was it?
x2: that was it what?
x1: Us!?
x2: "US"? you just broke up with me... What is with "US"?
x1: never mind...
x2: See! You never want to say anything! You are always just "never mind", "it's okay", "forget it"... I've enough of everything!
x1: .......
x2: i see you around...

sad day in a sunlight

Friday, July 14, 2006
breakin'Free

i read somewhere tt ppl who dyed their hair black are depressed. i dyed my hair black but i am not depressed. am i? i am not, right? urgh! who cares! i jz love my hair being ultimate black now. it looks kinda fake at time but natural at the same time.

de stupid aunty who was running to de ice-cream van and bumping onto me without noticing the hot tea im holding and simply just bumped onto me and de tea just spilled onto my hand and leg, you realli want to die. lucky u today u lucky i never hentam u! lucky de tea not mine or else, i throw the damn hot tea onto ur face ar! still want to smile smile and say sorry! sorry tak pak-keh ar! bloody hell u! knn! ccb! lu mau mati ar! sini wa bagi sama lu ar!

anyway, i was late for work. or was i? no i didnt. muehehe!!!

oKay... should i go for de digi-perm? no... im nt gonna do de spical curls or small small curls. im gonna jz do de big wavy curls one. u knw, nt de Shakira type but maybe de Lindsay Lohan. But is my hair long enuff to get that outlook? Yammie perhaps. Her hair is longer than mine now. Well, actualli if i didnt trimmed few mths back, my hair would hv been longer than hers. Oh yeah... muahaha!!!

I want coffee again.... oKay... althogether now, let's sing...

"We’re breakin’ free, We’re soarin’, Flyin’, There’s not a star in heaven That we can’t reach, If we’re trying, Yeah, we’re breaking free, Oh, we’re breakin’ free, Ohhhh, Can you feel it building Like a wave the ocean just can’t control, Connected by a feeling Ohhh, in our very souls, Rising ‘til it lifts us up So every one can see..."

Bloody-hell... i havent watch de movie yet le....

Wat movie?

High School Musical la!!!!

sad day in a sunlight

Thursday, July 13, 2006
freezing~out

I am keeping it up. Yes I am. At work still I am. Muahaha!! Stay OT for de 1st time im here at Pemstar. Well, life's good here. I mean, not that life IS good here. I havent gone thru de screaming session yet which Im hopefully will be soon. But my boss hor, she sound like a pontianak. She veri high-pitched one le... Muahaha!!!
Going back soon. Must at least OT 3hrs ar... bLoody-HeLL... oH weLL... oKay la... no compLaiNz

sad day in a sunlight

Wednesday, July 12, 2006
dEarLy+BeLoVed

I do not know what is expected of me. Everything seems to be going so fine but when something bad happened, who do I have to blame but myself?

Friends and families kept telling me that it was not entirely my fault. Things happened and it might not be as bad as others. There are other people who have gone through even worst than me. I keep that in mind. i am not as bad as others and I am still doing fine. But somehow, sometimes things takes a wrong turn, I mean, I took a wrong turn. The wrong turn. I myself am causing it and I have to stop it and WHY can't I stop it?! It is really frustrating.

I thought I could stop it. I thought I could end it. I started it again. Somebody has to do something. I have to do something. I can't go on with it. This is ridiculous.

Living a lie is living to die. What the hell. It is like I am dead and I feel like I am living in this miserable world where I could just jump down and break my skull and live on with my eyes on you, while YOU, just stood there and beware of me.

I am getting out of control. I am absurd. I am the most irrational, materialistic person in the world. I am so fucking asshole!

What the fuck....

//I miss you badLy my deaR IskaNdaR... How couLd you do this to me?

sad day in a sunlight

Monday, July 10, 2006
why?

oh man... i gotta bring speakers to this place. it's all quiet during lunchtime. im not eating much as im not hungry. dafinah dear insisted i eat something and there're some foods over at her table. i'll be glad to hv some if im hungry. for now, i'll jz hv coffee. seriously, im nt hungry. and dn worry, i won't get gastric la....

sad day in a sunlight

Sunday, July 09, 2006
Nobody Knows

mne things were kept in the dark. little things were kept in the open. mne tend to see onli the negatives while little tend to see onli the positives. wt will happened? if... it's the opposites. de dark shows mne thgs and the opsn shows little thgs while mne negatives tend to show and little positives tend to show? wt will happened??!! will he go down? will he be uprigh? will he lost his pride? will he be oKay? will he be fine? will anybody cares abt him? anymore? will there be any?

don't be jealous, gal. u'll be fiNe. i'LL be there for u. u're smooth.
don't be sad, gaL. i'LL tRy aNd fix it if i caN. u're cool.
don't be worried, gaL, i'll try my beSt. u're innocent.

it was a fun night at the concert of Marsiling Sec Sch @ Victoria Concert Hall. Me, yammie and Wan almost got in to de wrong building. Instead of being @ Victoria Concert Hall, we were at Victoria Theatre instead...
Met expected frenz and unexpected relatives. the concert band was exciting. they were good. de chinese orchestra, got some faultys going on and the choir... kudos to u all. u all sound realli sweet.
McDonald's after tt with the kids and couple. Had our private talks there. Yammie and Wan showed me where Home club after tt and off to home @ Pasir Ris. Stupid cabby. Don't know how to shut up! I don't care and don't want to know how and when u exercise la! And they are still kids la! Bloody-heLL! shut uP la idiot! Irritatng fucking bastard!
Hang out in Pasir Ris for awhile nad then off to woodlands and back home to Germany vs Portugal. and yeah! Germany won the 3rd pLace!

Happy happy!

Damn! They are making the 2nd H.O.T. in Tohoshinki (Dong Bang Shing Gi) ar! Idiots!

sad day in a sunlight

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Your Dress Personality: Cool

Your Personality
You give people the cool and chic impression. You're strong-willed and independent, and you've got character - you know exactly what you want in life and you're all out to conquer. Because of your cool exterior, men tend to feel intimidated by your femme fatale looks.

Your Dress Style
Your dressing is simple but sometimes edgy, giving people a glimpse of your rebellious nature. But more often than not, you're geared in basic casuals (mostly blacks and neutrals). With your no-nonsense attitude towards fashion and hype, you don't care two hoots about the latest trends or hottest fad. Way to go, girl!

- http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com.sg

sad day in a sunlight

Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Lost in Translation

i got in by de 2nd back door. i went up de stairs. by de time i reached 2nd floor, i looked to de 3rd and felt funni. So, i went back dwn to de 1st floor. Went out by de other door and got in to a production. walked thru a lane til I see a door, opened it and I'm at the lobby! Went thru the door when I 1st came for de interview. Went up de stairs to the 2nd floor and there was de familir office i went in b4. told a colleague that i was lost and anybody could get lost. He than toLd me for the 1st 2 weeks normally we will get Lost. Oh my! So, I walked thru the office and went to the back door. Out I went, up the stairs I went. Went thru de only door there on de 3rd floor and I saw the Engineering office. Walked past it and turned right. I saw a door. I didnt go straight but stopped at the door. Opened the door, walked in the room and it's the main pantry! Woohoo! Look straight in front of me! Jackpot! The door to my warehouse! Muahaha!!! I was tired... I sat down for coffee while a colleague chatted me up. He's a china man and he couldnt speak English well. He asked me if I'm new ad I said yes, in English. He asked further question but I couldn't understand. Others were there and he asked them about me. Practicalli, they know me and my designation there. Oh well, coffee was nice and the aircon was freeziNg... BBBUUURRR!!!!!

*************************************
s + You are very broad-minded
i + You are always smiling and making others smile.
t + You have an attitude, a big one
i + You are always smiling and making others smile.

s + You are very broad-minded
a + You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind
r + You are a social butterfly
i + You are always smiling and making others smile.
n + You like to work, but you always want a break
a + You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind
h + You are not judgmental
*************************************

sad day in a sunlight