★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

sad day in a sunlight

I don' know what I'm thinking these days. I basically feel so carefree and I start to feel nothing to worry about and feel good all the time. I have start not to worry about my weight-gain, my loss of money, my dad telling me off or my mother nagging at me. I just feel nothing at all. Until that moment comes.

Now, just what is that moment? Heh?!

sad day in a sunlight

Monday, January 29, 2007

I think I had a nice dream. I woke in the middle of sleep to turn off my ipod. I went back to sleep feeling good. I even woke up feeling good. There wasn't any headache, wasn't any back aches, wasn't anything. I am just feeling good today but still I am counting my days. When will it be? When will it happen? When will it come and when it will go away?

I do fantasize a lot. I know. I don't need people to tell me that. I will tell people that.

I forgot to shut the kitchen windows last night and 5 minutes after I retired to my room, dad woke up. He had an appointment at the polyclinic to remove his stitches.

I am almost halfway through I Am A Cat. It is a funny book. Everytime after I read it, I will go to my kitchen window to see if those cats are there. Yammie would feed them while I would just look at them and talk to them. Make fun at them and make hand gestures at them. Joke with them, tease them. They are all just so cute. Sometimes, they could just sense someone is looking at them or coming to them that they would just look up to that sensed direction. Cats, I guess are really smart but the more I see them, the more I wonder what are they actually thinking. Are those cats really how it is in I Am A Cat? I wonder what they talk about when they see us.

Yammie going to Ikea. I received a call this afternoon but it ain't a call I'm expecting.

Sigh... What else would come in between what I want and what I don't want?

sad day in a sunlight

I don't know. It is a dream, I think. It was eerie but it was not so scary. I guess because the gust of cold wind coming in through my window makes my dream all eerie and dark and cold with fog and all. I saw some "people" too and it was really eerie. When I woke up, it felt kind of eerie too.

Honey And Clover I done! Now off to Honey And Clover II. It is a sad-heart-warming one.

sad day in a sunlight

Sunday, January 28, 2007
coLd daE

Max profound his love for Sin. She accepted him. They have been friends since childhood. When Sin pulled Max aside to confront him, he confesses. Sin was happy and acting all flirty. After that, they were living a happy couple. Thinking back about the old times and present times. The future was just a flow for them both. Shiawase~.... Everything Sin walks away, Max would look at her hard and starts feeling "hard". Whenever Max walks away, Sin looks at him, smiling all the way. Having the satisfaction in her life was like a dream.

"...And so, I woke up. It was 10am. Sigh. Still early. It's cold. Raining ar.... Nice weather le. Went back to sleep."

Kino was walking along the corridors where she found a whole row of shops. The ceilings were filled with red and yellow lights. At the end of the lane, there was an entrance to a big stage where performers are performing. There were bands playing. Waaah~~.... A guy came up and a couple came up to Kino. The guy who came up first told Kino that he like her. Kino didn't hesitate and agreed to be his girlfriend. After a few days being with him, she's feeling uncomfortable. Kino was feeling bored of his kindness. He always there for her. Helping her in anything she requested. Doing all the work for her. Kino got bored. One day, her boyfriend was performing on stage while she sits one table with her boyfriend's friends. The couple. The girl was Kino's boyfriend ex-girlfriend. She was sitting opposite of Kino while her boyfriend was sitting beside Kino. Eh?~! How the couple don't sit side by side? Kino laid down her head on the table as she turned to the ex. Kino kept on pulling her sleeve and ask her how to dump him. Kanashi-na~....

"...It's 2.30pm. Lie down for a bit more la. The weather still nice to sleep in. But I want to go library le. Rain won't stop.... 3pm, up! Showered and an hour later, off to library..." "Yeah!"

sad day in a sunlight

Friday, January 26, 2007
don't know what to do already

I was wide awake at 1pm sey. But I went back to sleep right after that although I already planned to go to the library. This time, I went to sleep at 5.30am. I purposely went in early but sigh. I still woke up late la. Sian. Tonight must try to go in early but argh! Cannot la. Tempting. Not working the next day and not using up the free time while everybody are asleep. If tonight my room is available, I'm going to stay in it.

Death Note 15 and Bleach 112 is out la! Gerek babe!

sad day in a sunlight

Thursday, January 25, 2007
I'm not sure anymore.

I am on a spree. Well since I am free right now I might as well be on it. Looks like my sleeping time has take a turn. I'm up when it's dark and asleep when it's bright. Oh well. I don't know about the near future. Will things take a turn to me?

Anyway, I can't wait to get out of the house. I know it is like a pain in the eyes for everyone to see me just sleeping and and being on the pc all day. I wonder how long it will be happening.

Been watching animes lots lately. Well, can't help it. I guess I am an otaku.

.... As I thought.... dad it..... How could he?

I am at a total lost. I'm going ahead with it.

sad day in a sunlight

Wednesday, January 24, 2007
*_* "

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.
What Kind of Seducer Are You?

sad day in a sunlight

Monday, January 22, 2007
Yume~Dream~Mimpi

The other day, I woke up and went back to sleep. It was kind of unpleasant. After watching Inuyasha for 3 days straight, I thought I dreamt of him. Well, I had Inuyasha in my dream but when I woke up, I saw someone standing in front of me. I opened my eyes and it was my father. He was even wearing a red t-shirt la! He was holding the can-opener and a can of milk. ~Ara!!!~. I open the canned milk right on my bed but went on to the kitchen to continue my task. After that, I went back to sleep.

Today, I woke up feeling kind of great. I had a pleasant dream. How I wish I'll be leaving in that dimension world. Our dream. I was with my family members at times and I was with friends at times. I even have my life-partner with me. Tatsuya Fujiwara. Yup! How could it be him? Aiyah! ~Ara~! He just look so young and fresh and charming. ~Yes! Charrming~ indeed he IS! IN the dream he was just there all around. Even when I'm somewhere with anyone around anybody he is just there. He would just be invisible to everyone but visible for me. Sigh. I woke up and opened up my wardrobe and look at my Death Note 2 poster. Sigh. I thought Kenichi Matsuyama would capture my dream heart BUT! it's Tatsuya Fujiwara indeed. I guess I watched few of his shows la. That's why. I just don't like him in the Shinsengumi period drama la. I think he was in the teen version of Heaven's Coin.

I chaged my bedsheet. I wanted to change to the one my mom bought for me but alamak! It doesn't fit la!

Tying my hair up in a ponytail has been giving me a headache lately so I'm bound to plaiting them down at the moment.

Sigh~! How come Singapore don't prepare those small units like in Japan. So that I can just live there. Even if my mom thinks that I'm 15 years old.

sad day in a sunlight

Sunday, January 21, 2007
Inuyasha

I would like to thank my sister for completing a journey with me. We have watched the last stretch episodes of Inuyasha. I have started watching Inuyasha back in year 2004. Went on to year 2005 where I got kind of tired with the series but still enjoyed the all 4 movies which were released. Apparently, I didn't want to watch Inuyasha but the fact my ex-boyfriend had provided them for me, I watched it. And so 2 years ago, the series which my ex-boyfriend gave were unfinished as that was all he had. I had a classmate where she borrowed me the series on from where I have stopped until the last she had. There were 5 sets there. I only watched a set of it. Few days back, I got bored. I even thought of returning it but luckily I didn't. I ended up watching it. 2 nights ago while I was watching it, yammie joined in and we went on watching it til last night. Which actually, yammie got more excited on the show rather than me. It was getting all interesting. Yes. Haha!! Apparently, I did a check out that episode 167 was the last of the series and we did watched til episode 167!!!! Yeah! Seems like, i watched every single movies and series of Inuyasha. Happening ar! ...I don't know why I'm so happy about it but I'm just happy.

sad day in a sunlight

Friday, January 19, 2007
Do Not be

I will be going away for awhile in 2 weeks time. I am not sure how long it would be. It's not confirm even yet on how long I will be away. Somehow, no need to worry since things are not even confirmed. Oh well. I hope you do support me and trust me cuz I am Really Pissed Right Now!

Coffee and Inuyasha on the way!

sad day in a sunlight

Monday, January 15, 2007
* part 2

Went down to the hospital to see dad. When mom came back, he was in surgery. So, I followed mom to the hospital to see him. 5 minutes after seeing my dad, I had to fetch his medicines at the pharmacy and oh boy! I spent for almost 2 hours in the pharmacy. I ended up being the 2nd last person or the 3rd last person to retrieve the medicines. By the time I went back up, we had to make a move. Dad already told us to go back and get mom to have her dinner.

Hopefully dad can come back by tomorrow. He will be fine. He is fine. He is a fine guy.

sad day in a sunlight

*

the stupid rain makes me talk to myself today. The sun just appears like for 10 to 15 minutes and later the sky starts to darken again and the rain drops for like 20 to 30 minutes and the whole process starts all over again. I have to go down the hospital to take a look at my dad and the rain just really bothers me right now. Sigh.

sad day in a sunlight

Sunday, January 14, 2007
Truth by Reira starring Yuna Ito is such a nice song

Went for the kenduri yesterday and I knew we couldn't stay late like as usual due to dad's condition. With all the lame jokes and mockerys going on on him, I ignored it all cuz that is how the system goes in my family. Even my dad ignores it as he understands it all. Thanks to Amin Uncle for helping my dad on preparing the food for dad. But still, I do kind of like the family gatherings. Although some things have changed. I am trying to be adapted in it. There were lots of fun going on because we were celebrating the late birthdays of our January kids. The cake was oKay.

I felt a whole lot of relief when I was on the way back. I don't know why, I'm just glad. Although I like those gatherings but I can't stay too long in them anymore. It's just not the same anymore. I'm also glad that my father was out as he was getting all numb already. He needs his arm rest. Plus with all those jokes and mockeries going on on him, I can't say anything back because although I did took them a little too hard. I told them I'm just being patience upon hearing them when I was asked. Due to I do not want to cause anymore conflicts. I can get nasty when I start with words. Direct words I will use upon them. I don't want to say anything and so I just listen.

Came back and ended up watching Dark Water on Star Movies. Compared to the original version, the US version's suck. Unneccesary stories were added in and the story got kinda scary. There's suppose to be a scary-action part but somehow there were none in the US version. No wonder it gets a bad review and ratings. Watched Full Metal Alchemist: The Conquer of Shambala and Howl's Moving Castle after that. It was cold the whole night and til this afternoon whn I woke up, it was still raining and it has cold since then. Watched Day After Tomorrow on Ch 5 and the weather here just gets colder. Or rather i's just my thoughts. It is still raining and freezing cold right now. Drinking hot cups of coffee really soothes me down.

L'Arc en ciel has once again caught my ears.

Bleach is on episode 110! Wow! Yeah! Live on! Kurosaki Ichigo! Kuchiki Rukia!

sad day in a sunlight

Thursday, January 11, 2007
wind

Sigh... Mom woke me up and kept on calling out my name... Non-stop ar!!! Until dad stopper her. I had to get up to cook dad's lunch ar! I showered, I pop in a lollipop in my mouth and start sucking. Same time, plug in my ipod nano and speaker in the kitchen and start cooking. Sigh. I fell asleep right after the cooking. Wow! I've slept for 4 hours. Actually, I could continue but I rather not or else I won't be able to sleep later at night.

sad day in a sunlight

Rock Steady - All Saints

Went down to the National Library and look for the books that I wanted. Noted down earlier the authors that I was interested in and went on a hunt. Found some and some of the stories are really interesting. After that, took a walk down to City Hall as I was heading down to Suntec City to check out the ipod shuffle vers 2. Cik Man called earlier about his ipod shuffle and there were some problems all. As I walked to Suntec, I bought Filet-O-Fish for my meal and I was desperately looking for Vitasoy and there wasn't any at the indian shop. So, I had a cafe latte and saw a shuttle bus to Suntec City. Finished my drink as I cross the traffic and up I went to the aircon bus.
Took a slow walk at Suntec. Look around and enjoy my window-shopping moments. Went in a cd shop. Browse though some vcds and dvds. There were some which were on display. All were stood up. I took one and 2 and read the summaries. Put them back and suddenly the whole row of displays just fell! Pai-sey! I re-arranged them back. Somehow there was only one salesperson and I don't know where he or she has gone. The other people in the shop are just browsing through as normal. I wonder if there are any who are laughing behind my back. Make my way out and reached Epic Centre. Browsing through and thought of getting the ipod skin for my Nano BUT! I didn't bring my Epic Centre discount card. Apparently, I didn't bring my wallet. I thought of just going back after that.

As I sat at the bus-stop waiting for 857, I thought of someting. Since I'm already in the area, why don't I just get my stuffs? There's Carrefour in Suntec but I was too lazy to walk back in there and so I went to Marina Square and look for Giant. Like what the hell! They were out of the shampoo that I wanted. So, I went on to look for lollipops and what the hell! They don't have the lollipops in the whole packet one le! How disappointing. Instead I bought 4 sticks of individual ones. I don't know. I'm just craving for them after I had one from Raihan's the other day. Went on to Guardian Pharmacy to get the other stuffs. My shampoo, pantyliner and facial wash. Shopping done!...Not quite yet. Went into TS. Browse through the vcds and dvds and found Shinobi dvd but I wasn't interested in it anymore and although I really want to get it, I gotta watch my budget. I stumbled upon NANA The Movie. It's a vcd. I got it. I bought it. I love the movie. There's Ken'ichi Matsuyama! There's Mika Nakashima! and there's Tetsuji Tamayama. Will see more of him in NANA The Movie 2 and won't see Ken'ichi Matsuyama as his character has been changed to another boy.

Finally, came home. Fried some chickens. Watched NANA and ate my dinner and bye bye~!

sad day in a sunlight

Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Patience

Sigh. Is it basically our fault that cats are coming into the house? You hate to be stress at but what about assuming faults on others. Isn't that stressing other people too? Why are you like that? You are always doing that. Just because someone doesn't tell you anything, it could be possible that person wants to be alone at the moment rather than having you questioning them non-stop and blabbering out unneccesary words which doesn't help at all. You want to talk, think first. You said you don't want to give us what you get back then. Than why are you doing it exactly? Sometimes snapping at the wrong time are just ridiculous. Ever thought about it for just a second? Well, I can't blame you. You are my mother. I love you. No matter what, I know you are doing the best things for us. You know me. I always tell you that.

I came back to find that feeling all down and mom feeling all fed-up. Dad has to go for another surgery. The doctor reprimanded him as t whether he was resting or actually working at home. Well, like any guys my dad is not those who rather rest and not do anything. He went out and did what he could at home. He did not put on the shoulder sling which he should hang his hand on. Which he was supposed to. Thanks to his strong-headed "kepala batu", he didn't put on the sling on. Sigh. Mom seems to have given up with all the rantings. I have given up on the talks and sigh.... He keeps on whining when his hand going to recover. Well.

sad day in a sunlight

Monday, January 08, 2007
Say It Right - Nelly Furtado

Listening to that song now. Nelly Furtado's Say It Right. Sigh. The other day, took one chupa chup lollipop from rai's. Had it the next day. Sharing it with Af. At night, I had the sugar cane candy Yammie brought me few weeks back. Broke the top one. Now, I feel like having some lollipop. I want chupa chup. "The Pleasure of Sucking" ... That's the line, right?

sad day in a sunlight

Friday, January 05, 2007
~Brand New Day

Wow! What a day for me! Should I say... What a night for me! What a morning!

Yesterday I was woken up at 10am. I woke up with cramps but with plans on my mind. I couldn't go on with my plans. I received calls from friends and also from my new employer. I have been confirmed for the job and I will be starting soon. I will be expecting a call from her today after she arrives Singapore.
After I woke up yesterday, I met with Raihan and went over to her place. It's like the 2 times this week. We had lunch together watched Samurai X. Yes! Himura Kenshin! Our beloved crossed-shape scar on his left cheek. Went on to another anime as Raihan went dozed off while the rain gets heavier and I start thinking when it will stop. Had nice chat with Nadhirah and I was still waiting for the rain to slow down so that I could go back as I was feeling sleepy.
When I got back, I showered and went on the pc to burn a cd but somehow, I didn't work out as I thought. I got fed-up and watched tv with dad. Watched Be Cool on Star Movies and went on to Star Wars: Phantom Menace Episode 1. Wow! Til it's 0115hrs, I went on the pc for awhile and than make way for Yammie. I retreated into my room with an unexpected thought in my mind.

It all started when I was taking out my Harry Potter & Spider-Mann postcards to make way for my Death Note 2 poster. I start re-arranging some things and I went on to taking out other things and digging those other things out and start going through them. Threw away the junks that have been taking up the spaces in my wardrobe. Threw away the unneccessary things. Put aside the cds. Wiping every single thing clean. From the wardrobe, I went on to the 2 boxes under my bed. From there, I went on to the racks. Oh my god! From there! I start vacumming my room! Yes! I start re-arranging everything in the room and wiping everything in the room and ended up cleaning the whole room.

While going through my junkies, I found lots of photos when I was younger. Back then when we were all still lame-looking. Found Yammie's photos too when she was still hanging with me an my friends. BBC. Boy-Band Chasing. Hahahahaha!!!!!! Found our phots in school uniforms. Found our photos looking stupid. Found our photos still looking so innocent. Our Innocence..... bLueK!
Finally, I threw all the negatives. I also found that I do have diaries back then when I was still in school. I random read them. I start writing diaries 11 yrs ago. Wow! I read and somehow, I never seem to change at all. I am still the same me. But I found that some of my write-ins were in malay. How cool is that! I should try blogging in Malay again. You all won't be understanding then.

I ended my clean-ups at 0600hrs. Finished right after I clean the mirror. Had a coLd shower which is really making me feel good right now. Drinking miLk and going to sleep in a little while but my hair is like wet!

sad day in a sunlight

Thursday, January 04, 2007
~Constructed

Yay! I found a job. I hope the start of this new year will be good for me. I hope everything will go fine.

Having my cramps right now. Oh boy! Really oh boy! Went to the gym yesterday and stayed in there like almost 3 hours. Came out feeling very dizzy until the whole day and night. Had a good night coLd sleep. Yay!

I'm having a feeling for Tom Yam Ban Mian right now. My cramps ain't stopping me. I'm eating lots of carbs. Should I go on a diet? I did it before and it didn't go well. I guess when I start working, it'll be back to normal.

sad day in a sunlight

Tuesday, January 02, 2007
2007 ~harmoNizes

2007 is here. What new start can I begin with? A new life? I don't think so. Everyday and every night is just the same as I look. somehow when I start over, everything will just be the same. "Starting over" is just something you say when you want to make yourself better or someone better.

On hari raya haji, something happened. Something which we want it to happen happened there. It was out and everybody saw it.
Everybody witness it. Those who has gone and already came. Everybody now sees what and who you really are. Disappointing enough they are. Just be glad there are people who still love you. Even me.
What have you got to say there? You could still ask your mother to back you out but now she is all confuse about it. She is going to not just ask around but somehow now she is going to just assume things even worst. Why have you done so? Worst, you are even using the surrounding advantages to yourself. You think you it alright. You think you are in the righteous position now. You think you are going to be the one now. Somehow I think you got it wrong. I believe so. You are so wrong. Anybody who starts it bad will end up in the worst position ever. In your life where someone is there to willingly accept you and asking for your forgiveness although they have not done any wrong, you somehow starts pointing them for the wrong reasons when you are just angry at yourself. How many punching-bags do you need? The one in the shelter that you're sheltering in, not enough? Oh yes, that is not your OWN shelter in the first place. Remember that. Okay. Don't take things for granted easily. Nobody wants to say anything bad. Nobody wants to get hurt. Nobody wants to hurt you. Why are you hurting yourself? Why do you want to hurt others too as well?

It is 2007 now. You are not the president of the world. Even Allah knows that. Although you don't get the best things in life, at least don't make your love ones miserable. Your mind needs to relax.

sad day in a sunlight